deblog

Right - I’m back and ready to go at it.

But not today. Today is just to say that I am coming back. Soon.

Very soon.

I figure it’s important to get an entry in here before July is over. Boy, there’s nothing like finishing a novel to really slow the blogging down. But how nice to have something else to feel guilty about (not blogging) even though there’s almost certainly nobody reading. With that in mind then, here are a couple of guilty pleasure reading recommendations.

At my request, my son bought me Tina Brown’s The Diana Chronicles for my birthday last month. Even with the crazy deadline I was working under, I enjoyed every second of it. I loved The Queen too if that tells you anything. But back to Tina Brown… She’s literate and so is the book. There isn’t anything earth-shakingly new here and, yes, it’s a chewy celeb read, but it’s a good one. And it’s funny. I mean, the royals are hilarious really. Aren’t they?

Rock n roll bios are a favorite subgenre of mine although it’s difficult to find a good one (consider the sources, sigh…). Still, I read them all. My longtime favorite is/was The Dirt by Neil Strauss and those naughty Motley Crue boys. Really, it’s sublime and if you haven’t read it and like this sort of thing, you need to add it to your shelf immediately. I could hardly keep this book in my house when it first came out - people, even those who scoffed at my penchant for rock bios - kept trying to steal it out from under me.

At any rate, I now have a new fave - I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead by Crystal Zevon, ex-wife and lifelong friend of Warren Zevon, the subject of her book. The publisher, Ecco, always puts out fine books and this one’s no exception. Zevon, a much admired (by writers and musicians alike) songwriter is a great subject and Crystal Zevon structures and edits the material (made up of her own observations, almost ninety interviews, and Warren’s own journals) very well. It’s highly literate (like Warren himself), dark, funny, and interesting above all. There isn’t anything else you can ask for from a rock bio. Makes me hungry for more.

 Some recent creepy and entertaining reads along the “things are not as they seem” line: 

Creepy/Smart: WHAT THE DEAD KNOW by Laura Lippman. A tale of hidden identity, psychological suspense, and family drama. Totally involving, expertly written.

Creepy/Sophisticated: A GOOD AND HAPPY CHILD by Justin Evans. A man seeks counseling because he can’t bring himself to hold his newborn son and uncovers supernatural blackness from his childhood. Let’s just say demons are involved… Elegant, almost formal writing. Try not to read before bed.

Creepy/Because it could happen: HOOKED by Matt Richtel. Great premise — man gets note from dead girlfriend warning him to leave a coffee shop moments before it explodes. There follows a plot to gain mind control through computers and a twisted love story. Writing could be stronger here, but one can’t complain about the pacing. Knocked this off in about five hours.

More to come…

I found the “Roll Keyboard” in the office supplies section of Ralph’s for $17. Perfect, I thought. This is a fully functional silicone keyboard that can be plugged into any USB port on the computer - just what I need for my old laptop that is now missing the Enter key thanks to the relentless pounding delivered by my son. The box proclaimed that the keyboard is virtually indestructible. Again, perfect. Plus, they had one in pink (the other option, a weird urine-yellow, was too ugly for words). So I bought it, thinking that even if it didn’t work, it was only a $17 investment and I could bring it back.

The “user’s manual” was one sheet of paper, basically instructing the user to plug in and type. But, oh, the extras — what the keyboard can and cannot do — was worth the $17 all by itself. Here, for your pleasure:

“The Roll-keyboard can be used in below conditions:

- It can be used in the damp environment even shallow water

- It can be used in the acidity and alkaline environment

- It can be used in the dusty environment even sandstorm

- It can be laundered by alcohol or disinfector”

But here, much, much better, the conditions in which the keyboard CANNOT be used:

“- It cannot be pressed when it was rolled

- IT CANNOT BE PUTTED INTO THE OVEN AND PUTTED ON THE FIRE TO ROAST

- Cannot places the heavy object on it in long time

- We cannot put out strength to twist or pull it”

Other notes include: “In view of the fact that it is all seal completely, preventing all kinds of germs and pollutants exiting into the keyboard, and the keyboard’s surface can be washed and disinfected any time, so it can prevent the disease infection.” Also, “Made by high-qulity silicone, the keyboard has no poisonous and evil smell, according to the requirement of the environmental protection, it is a kind of creative new product” and “Feeling soft comfortable,” and finally, “The keyboard is applicable to office; hospital Classroom; workshop; network bar; laboatory; kid room; notebook PC; army; etc.”

And my personal favorite:

“Various beautiful colors: The button bears to type 2 million times.”

I plugged it in and it worked immediately. Perfectly. Where else can you get this kind of functionality and entertainment for $17? Nowhere, methinks.

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone. I hope all the mothers out there are having a lovely day. And for those of you who are working in restaurants today, I hope you get through it relatively unscathed. You know what I’m talking about.

In honor of mothers everywhere, I’d like to recommend a little Mother’s Day reading. First, an unabashed plug for my own book, Raising Blaze. Read the reviews at http://www.debraginsberg.com or just take my word for it…

Next, a very funny, very quick read: Mommies Who Drink by Brett Paesel. The book is neither as irreverent nor as subversive as it sounds, but there are generous doses of reality and dark humor here which I, for one, genuinely appreciated.

Finally, a terrific novel by Gwendolen Gross, The Other Mother. You’ll have to wait a bit for this one as it doesn’t go on sale until August (pre-order now!), but it will be worth the wait. Check out some advance reviews on Gwendolen’s website (link on my blogroll) or, again, take my word for it. This is one of the most visceral depictions of motherhood with all its attendant hopes, fears, love, and pain that I’ve read. Gwendolen is a lovely writer and this is a compelling story. Definitely something to look forward to.

Here’s my current favorite publishing story: Cat is abandoned in an Iowa library, is adopted, hangs out, is cute, “reduces stress.” Nineteen years later (now), cat (Dewey Readmore Books is the cat’s name) is euthanized and the librarian who took care of him is given a $1.25 million book deal. Did I mention there is no actual book yet - just a proposal? Did I also mention that the librarian is not actually writing the book herself? Did I mention $1.25 million? One estimate I saw calculated that the book would have to sell at least 250,000 copies to earn back that advance. The same article (from the U.K.) had a sort of “American publishers are crazy” kind of spin to it. I don’t think I need to voice my own opinion here. If you’re reading, you know me - and if you know me, you know how I feel about this one.

It had to happen eventually.

Seems wherever we live, we get birds - lots of them. Two houses ago, we had the pigeon version of the No Tell Motel on the back fence. You haven’t lived till you’ve seen pigeons mating in the spring, let me tell you. Finches populated the giant ficus right next to that and occasionally, we’d see a hawk swoop down into the tree for lunch leaving terrified screeching and floating feathers in its wake.

Then there were the crows and ravens that gathered on the street in front of the last house. I’ll spare you the Poe and Hitchcock references.

Now, here, in our three-floor townhouse across the parking lot from the local library, we regularly have birds crashing into the large picture window above the living room because they see it as a continuation of the sky. Some weeks ago, a large pigeon smacked itself hard enough to leave a gooey, dusty print. It lay where it fell, in the narrow strip of stone we call “the back” right below our gnome collection (the gnomes are an entirely different story and will likely make an appearance in a future post). Its neck and wings were all twisted at weird angles and we were sure it was dead. Maya, Blaze, and I stared at it for a while trying to figure out what to do next. Then it was just Maya and me. Then just me. Then, with a “PFFFTTT,” it snapped out of its stunned state and flew off.

“Not dead!!” I yelled.

But yesterday, a much smaller bird must have wiped out on the window and fell dead onto the steps, coming to rest next to my lavender plant. I saw it there when I went to open the back door and let in some air. I must tell you this: I am great with bleeding, fever, vomiting, broken glass, most insects, strange noises, blackouts, and rough weather, but I cannot handle 1. rodents and 2. dead things.

I called my father. The last time I summoned him for something like this (two giant hornets circling the living room), he came over wearing a black hooded sweatshirt, holding a can of Raid, and brandishing a broom. I’d never laughed so hard in my life. Obligingly, my father showed up to deal with the bird, swept the poor thing into a lawn and leaf bag, and left. Not as funny as the hornet episode, but as effective.

Still, the whole thing had a terrible bad omen feeling about it. And given that I’m trying to write a novel about omens, signs, precognition, and psychic phenomena, it all seemed too close. Must put something up on that window, although I hate to spoil the light and the view. Maybe some jellies. Yellow moons, maybe. Or orange stars, pink hearts, and green clovers…

So, here’s an outing to think about next time you find yourself in England: Dickens World. Yes, you can take a Great Expectations boat ride, shop at Ye Olde Curiosity Gift shop (Fagin action figures, anyone?), travel through recreations of sewers and Newgate Prison. Yes! Opening April 20 in Chatham, a former naval dockyard where Dickens’ father once worked as a clerk, Dickens World hopes to draw 300,000 visitors a year.

One wonders about the food at this theme park. Crusts of bread? Will you be able to get more soup if you order it?

Although I’m still loathe to admit it, I’ve never been a Dickens fan myself. This was a highly unpopular sentiment in the English Dept. when I was in college - nothing short of literary blasphemy - so I’ve mostly kept it to myself all these years. My favorite Dickens experience is the memory of hearing Great Expectations read in installments by my sixth grade teacher who was from Georgia and had a heavy southern accent. Miss Havisham’s dress was “yella” with age. I loved this rendition - the only time I could put the words love and Dickens together. But even I am slightly horrified by the prospect of a Dickens theme park. Just doesn’t seem like it could possibly be much fun.

The park’s manager claims that Dickens was a populist and would have approved of the idea (he also believes Dickens would have been writing for TV if he were alive today), but G thinks that “Chucky D is rolling in his grave. Who but the biggest geeks would go to Dickens World?” Later, of course, as G and I discussed it, he added, “Of course, when we do go to England we’re going to have to go…”

More soup?

First post.

Various and sundry friends have been encouraging me to blog since long before it was popular and I’m coming a little late to the game here. Like, five years late. No matter, plenty of room in cyberspace, eh wot? I’ll try my best to keep the posts as highbrow and non-navel-gazing as possible. Also, I will attempt to keep body part metaphors to an absolute minimum. Otherwise, I plan to post whatever I feel like re. words, books, books about words, words about my own books, book reviews, works in progress, and an occasional recipe when the well runs dry. (I’ve discovered so many wonderful recipes online, I feel it’s only fair to “give back”).

By the time anyone gets around to reading this, I will have added more links and information. But for now, the spare look is pretty nice. Content is all.